Absence of ideas, absence of reason, forgetfulness. Derogatory words that hint at some kind of problem or in most serious cases, a disorder. Over the past few days, I have been thinking real hard about this. Mostly, I have been trying to figure out whether this problem was affecting me. However, looking at the world around me, I cannot help but connect my situation with that of the world itself. The purpose of this article is nothing special; its a mediocre attempt at filibustering when mind-blowing ideas have not been able to develop in my mind.
For me on a personal level, my inability to come up with ideas probably stems from the ever-changing landscape around me, which causes a feeling of instability, inciting in me a hysteria that the world will eventually be unsuitable for my existence. So what do I mean by an “ever-changing” landscape? That is probably a bit of an exaggeration; you know how I love to use a lot of hyperboles. I guess I mean a change in environment, a change in the important people in my life. What I’m trying to subtly imply is, the change in my school.
I espouse a “go with the flow” attitude. Cliches such as “time and tide wait for none” form the basic foundations of my “worldview”. However, I admit, I am a bit of a hypocrite. I staunchly criticize people who cling on to their pasts, unable to live in the present. It is not untrue that I myself have been living in the past for a while now. For months, it seems as if there was a seamless transition to my new school; I made new friends, learnt amazing new stuff, took part in competitions and won many of them! Recently though, I have encountered a few stumbling blocks. I have been on vacation for a couple of weeks now, and I have come to realize: I miss my past. I miss all those incredible moments that I experienced over the last few years. I miss my old school, and my old friends, who I no longer see or talk to on a day-to-day basis, an unimaginable thought just 10 months ago.
I guess I should have seen this coming. My history is riddled with stories of inability to embrace change in the initial phase. I do not want to dwell much on such times. I guess what I am going through right now is such a sub-conscious failure to accept my current position. However, I believe with due course of time, I will be able to fight with my own stubbornness to embrace the change, to embrace what has happened and to accept my life as it is right now.
Looking at the world around me, I can sense something similar going on. We try to change, we try to become better human beings, we try to erase the memories that haunt us. However, they bind us, ever stronger, to the ground. We try to curb global warming, but at the same time, there are people doubting its very existence! Change is a difficult thing for us to accept. However, if we are to do things to the very best of our abilities, embracing change is sacrosanct.
I will not go into all the details about how we can embrace change, how we can remove the stubbornness from our resolve against change. That, from my experience, depends on the situation and it becomes a web of complexity trying to explain it. I know I might not come across as “clear” or “credible” in this article, but believe me, all that I am going through is true. This is my attempt at the filibuster. It looks like I have had a lot to say, but in the end, I have nothing to say.
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